Go The Distance

In a trend that goes against convention, more couples are embracing living apart. We meet two who are making it work

- Sharon Stephenson

Here’s how it usually goes: two people meet, they fall in love, they move in together. They might get married, they might have kids, they might not. Either way, they end up sharing the same bed and arguing about whose turn it is to take out the rubbish.

Say experts, that’s just how humans are hardwired: we’re social beings with a need to tether ourselves to another person for companionship.

Yet for an increasing number of couples, that’s no longer the case. These couples choose to live in separate houses, separate cities, sometimes even separate countries. It could be because of work, a desire to protect their independence or simply because they want companionship without the drudgery – more romance, fewer dirty socks.

Facebook may not have a relationship status for this particular brand of coupledom, but sociologists do – living apart together (LAT). The term refers to couples who are in a long-term committed relationship but don’t live under the same roof. Global statistics point to a growing trend. In the UK, Birkbeck University of London research suggests some 10% of couples have opted for a LAT arrangement.

LISA SCOTT AND NATHAN MEIKLE

When Lisa moved to Oamaru to be closer to partner Nathan, she decided to buy her own house – very close to Nathan’s – instead of moving in with him