Self-Care? It's A Stretch!

Her son has refused breakfast twice, a cat’s vomited and her daughter’s sandals hurt. For busy working mum Deborah there’s no time for pampering

A typical morning. Gussie was grumpy because her computer wouldn’t start. Fed cats in dark as light wouldn’t go on. Worked out it was a fuse. Fixed it. Put load of washing on. Washing machine wouldn’t work. It’s broken. So that’s what tripped fuse. Cats still hungry so fed them again. Made Bram his special Home Prego Crunchy Toast as he likes it. He said it tasted funny. I gave it to the birds and made him a new batch. Gussie wants to walk to school because I am taking Brammy to the doctor about his embarrassing rash but can’t wear her sandals because they give her blisters. I gave her some socks. Bram wouldn’t eat his HPCT Mark II because it also tasted funny. Told him: it’s plain pizza bread! Then felt guilty so asked him if he’d like a croissant. He said yes. But I couldn’t heat it up in the microwave because the microwave isn’t working. Put it in the oven. Gussie wouldn’t wear sandals with socks because people would mock her. Gave her sticking plasters. Cleaned up cat vomit (do not feed cats twice). Gave Bram heated up croissant. He wouldn’t eat it because it was too dry when not heated in the microwave. Threw it at the birds. Birds squawked. Screamed at birds.

Who has the time?

Some experts say that mothers who feel ‘flat’ should do self-care. And if this column had a soundtrack, there would be a coffee-up-the-nose snonky snort from me. At no point during my morning did I do the breath of joy or a mini de-clutter or light a figgy candle. I am calling it: self-care for mothers is just yet another thing to feel bad about.