Should Single Mums Give Up On Love?

Louise Pentland thought juggling being a mum and a singleton would be easy. But then she plunged into the murky world of dating

- Louise Pentland

When I was small and people asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d give the same answers as most little girls – usually a ballerina or pop star (with, if possible, a gorgeous husband, 10 children and 10 cats). at no point did I say, ‘a lonely single mum, please.’ Yet, that was what I became four years ago, at the age of 28, alone with my small daughter, Darcy, as my four year marriage came to an end.

It could have been worse: my husband and I had an amicable split and established a good custody routine. After the first challenging year, when I was insecure and broken, we were making it work. I felt I’d mastered the art of single-mumdom and I loved my work as an online creator and journalist. But I was still so lonely.

So, in 2015, I dipped my toes in the murky waters of dating – and to my surprise I enjoyed it. I had a few dates, but didn’t find anyone I really liked until 2016, when I met Mike through a dating app. He was six years older than me, lived in the next county, had a job in IT and no children. After a couple of days of chatting, I told himI had a four-year-old daughter. He seemed fine with this revelation and I explained that I shared custody 50/50 with her dad. I added the disclaimer that Darcy’s dad was very present in her life and I wasn’t looking for a father figure for my child.

The dating world

I made sure to be clear that I had every other weekend free, as well as two nights every week. Just because I had a four year-old didn’t mean I wasn’t still fun and carefree. He needn’t see me on the days when I was up to my eyeballs in poster paints or ironing school uniforms.