A couples therapist once told me that her motto was, ‘A cup of tea gets you sex.’ The 80/80 Marriage, A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship, by husband and wife Nate and Kaley Klemp, echoes this theme. Their concept is, rather than rigid insistence on fairness, you adopt an approach of ‘radical generosity’ – with each partner trying to contribute 80% to the marriage (you excuse the maths) and prioritise shared goals. There’s a chapter entitled Sex-Orgasmic Altruism. The more you give, the luckier you get. So, the cup of tea principle, in effect.
Coincidentally or not, the Klemps are the perkiest couple I’ve encountered in a year. They’re speaking on Zoom from Colorado, and it’s as if lockdown hasn’t touched them. Kaley has auburn ringlets, a dazzling smile and talks fast. Nate, fresh-faced, is more considered. They’re both 41, met as teenagers and have been married for 15 years. If I address a question to them both, Kaley might touch Nate gently on the arm and say, ‘Shall I go?’
They’re an endearing pair. But rather than skip to the climax, let’s begin with their realisation that ‘unbridled individualism’ and petty score-keeping corrode a relationship and that, if love is to last, a more kind, mature approach is required.
When they married, like many couples, they presumed themselves equals. Kaley worked at Deloitte Consulting and had a credit card. Nate was a graduate student at Princeton, making $15,000 a year. He didn’t cook or clean.
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der August 10, 2021-Ausgabe von WOMAN - UK.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent ? Anmelden
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der August 10, 2021-Ausgabe von WOMAN - UK.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent? Anmelden
NEVER too late
Catriona had regrets about the past - but perhaps it was time to embrace her future
How many calories are YOU eating at Christmas?
Lynsey Hope tracked what she ate over the festive period, with shocking results.
Cut festive spending
The average Brit expects to spend almost £600 on core Christmas-related products and activities this year, including food, gifts, decorations, socialising and travelling*.
My little MIRACLE
After a horrific blaze, Amanda Stephenson will never forget how lucky she is to still have her son
Why it's not too late to get a flu jab
WOMAN'S GP DR HELEN WALL ON HER TOPIC OF THE WEEK
Stop the season AGEING YOU
Take our youth-boosting quiz to find out how you can keep looking and feeling fabulous.
LOSE AN INCH by Christmas
Stride into shape with our simple walking plan
How to lower your cholesterol
ANNIE DEADMAN IS HERE TO HELP YOU, THE EASY WAY!
Why are we so obsessed with MOVING HOUSE?
With more homes on the market than last year, we investigate the nation's love of selling up
The ROYAL INSIDER
THE REASONS BEHIND THE SUSSEXES' NEW MOVE