WHY I CHOSE MY SON OVER MY MARRIAGE

Nama Winston, 44, has no regrets about her relationship ending

- NAMA WINSTON.

At the risk of sounding like I used my husband simply as a sperm donor, I admit that I lost interest in him the moment my baby was born. It wasn’t his fault. I had loved my husband for a decade before we had our son. I was his third wife, we had a two-decade age difference between us, and he already had two kids - but, somehow, it worked. Until I decided it wasn’t working anymore. People love to blame their spouse for the breakdown of their marriage, but I’ve always known that it was largely my fault.

We’d had a good marriage, and we’d been together for all of my 20s and married in 2003. I thought we were happy, but then, in 2007, I had a baby - and that little man changed everything.

NOTHING ELSE MATTERED

Winston, born by emergency caesarean at 32 weeks – taught me so much about family and real love in a way I hadn’t before experienced.

I was obsessed with him. Yes, partly because he was a much-longed for IVF baby. Yes, because he was super cute and so much fun, right from the start. But mostly because I had worked so hard to be in this position – to become a mother – that nothing else really mattered to me after that.

I always thought a baby would unite people, but Winston’s presence divided us, because some members of my husband’s family still expected me to be the devoted family woman I’d always been. They didn’t see that I was – just devoted to a different family now. My very own.