FLAWED FLOORS!

JON IS IN AWE OF THE CRAFTSMEN HAT CREATED THE B2 CADDY

- JON FAINE

MY RESPECT for the carpenters wielding their spokeshaves and handsaws in the Citroen factory at Quai Javel, on the River Seine in Paris around a hundred years ago increases each time I try - and spectacularly fail - in my efforts to copy their output.

On my side in the battle, I have a shed full of power tools, sophisticated gadgets and lasers available to me. But I still cannot do even a bad impersonation of their work. Maybe if I were to wear a beret and start dangling a smoky Gaulloise no-filter cigarette from the corner of my Beaujolais swigging mouth …

Despite the lack of proper personal accessories, I am making some progress on the 1926 Citroen B2 Caddy tribute. Which is to say, I move the dust and wood shavings around and spend hours staring at the timber frame that I am rumoured to be building, wondering why the carefully laid-out plans pinned to the wall do not magically replicate themselves in the clean whiteash timber stacked in the corner of the workshop.