'Don't leave things till tomorrow'

A highly personal documentary shows the late Dame Deborah James speaking of her hopes, dreams and battle with terminal cancer

- KATIE ARCHER

Cancer cruelly robbed Dame Deborah James of the chance to watch her two children grow up. But in BBC documentary Storyville: Deborah James – Bowelbabe In Her Own Words she admitted her illness improved her relationship with her children by allowing her to spend more time with them.

The award-winning podcaster, former teacher and dance enthusiast was just 40 when she died last June, leaving behind husband Sebastien and children Hugo, 14, and Eloise, 12.

Telling them she had cancer was the hardest conversation of her life, the documentary reveals through her own videos and social media posts. “We had kids way earlier than expected, which was a really great surprise, so it meant that when I was diagnosed with cancer I had two kids to deal with who were grown up enough to understand what the word cancer means,” she said.

“I’m an advocate of being open with your kids, but I have nightmares re-enacting what I had to say to them.”

One of her biggest regrets was realising, after her diagnosis, that motherhood was more important to her than anything else.

“I was never there at any sports days or plays. I had my priorities wrong, but I didn’t know it at the time. I was forced to give that up and I had to learn to be a mum. I never did the whole mum thing,” she said sadly. “I’ve now got a much better relationship with my kids as a result of cancer. I think it changes you. I wish something else had changed me.

“There’s aspects where they think Mummy having cancer is brilliant – they will be very blunt and say, ‘Before you got cancer we never really saw you’. I’m like, ‘Seriously, did it take cancer for this?’”