'I DON'T LOOK TO THE FUTURE, I LIVE FOR TODAY - IT'S ALL I'VE GOT'

KELSEY PARKER RETURNS TO ONE OF HER MOST PRECIOUS PLACES ON THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF HUSBAND TOM'S TRAGIC DEATH

- RHONA MERCER

From the moment Tom Parker was diagnosed with a brain tumour, he and wife Kelsey made it their mission to remain strong in the face of tragedy their mantra was "positive Parkers forever". But a year on from his death, it's clear that staying positive just isn't possible for her right now.

When we meet Kelsey and their beautiful children, Aurelia, three, and Bodhi, two, for a shoot on a Broadstairs beach to mark the first anniversary of Tom's passing, we soon realise that Kelsey is going through a particularly tough stage of the grieving process.

"This is probably the hardest time since he died," she tells us. "Going from February into March was such a hard transition because I knew what was coming this month. It's been a year since I lost him, but it feels like yesterday. I've not really wanted to face this month because it's the realisation that he's not been here for a whole year and how much we all miss him."

Kelsey goes on to reveal that the anxiety she felt in the build-up to this milestone manifested itself in a tic, which she noticed when she was out with a friend.

"I was just dreading this month," she explains. "When I met my friend for coffee I kept clearing my throat and coughing, like a little tic. I think it's just the anxiety of this month and the struggle. It's like living in a s**t show."

She adds, "I don't want to feel like it's s**t. But obviously it is, as it's so difficult. Me and Tom were the 'Positive Parkers' and I try and see the positive in everything. But honestly, I don't feel like there is a positive in my life at the moment. It's just awful what's happened to us as a family."

Kelsey, who turned 33 this month, chose Broadstairs beach in Kent as the location for today's shoot as it was a place that meant so much to her and Tom."