When it comes to keeping our parents close no matter what the situation, we’ve all heard the seemingly harmless sayings: “Blood is thicker than water”, “... but they’re your mum/dad” and “family is everything”. Yet, more adults are bucking this idea. Parent-adult child estrangement – the sustained physical or emotional distance or both – is rising thanks to a generation of adult children who aren’t willing to accept authoritarian, neglectful or abusive parenting.
“Deciding to cut ties with your parents is a deeply personal and complex decision, influenced by various factors and circumstances,” says psychologist Noosha Anzab. “It is important to approach such a situation with careful consideration of your circumstances.”
As Anzab explains, signs you should distance yourself from a parent differ, depending on your experience. While the below isn’t an exhaustive list, it’s a start.
FIRSTLY, WHY CUT TIES?
All relationships are complex, and often adult children cut ties as their experience as children conflicts with their values as an adult.
“Some children may choose to physically distance themselves from a parent because contact with them becomes a traumatic experience,” explains Anzab.
It’s important to remember there is no “right” answer here, and only you can know if maintaining a relationship with your parent is healthy for you.
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