Dear Data-Breach Victim:
You assumed as much, because the only mail you receive amounts to notices of data breaches, medical bills, and solicitations to donate to a good cause (maybe with a little graphic of a snowflake or a hopeful puppy or a gallbladder around the address window), whose senders will eventually contact you about a data breach. Your mail also sometimes contains postcards from your mother, who is certainly the victim of a data breach. She probably just gave her data away after clicking on a sponsored Google result that said “Real Rapid Passport Renewal Easy Online.”
Please know that we take your privacy very seriously. In fact, that seriousness is why you have no idea who we are or why we have your data. But rest assured: when we purchased your data, we placed it under maximum encryption, separating your home address from MRI images of your most vulnerable bones. Regrettably, an incident occurred involving the part of our network that stores digital replicas of your nude abdomen after you’ve eaten beef pad Thai.
This notice describes the data breach incident, the steps we have taken in response, and what you can do next.
What Happened?
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der June 03, 2024-Ausgabe von The New Yorker.
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Diese Geschichte stammt aus der June 03, 2024-Ausgabe von The New Yorker.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent? Anmelden
BADDIE ISSUES
\"Wicked\" and \"Gladiator II.\"
LET'S MAKE A DEAL
\"Death Becomes Her\" and \"Burnout Paradise.\"
ANTI HEROES
\"The Franchise,\" on HBO.
FELLOW-TRAVELLERS
The surprisingly sunny origins of the Frankfurt School.
NOW YOU SEE ME
John Singer Sargent's strange, slippery portraits of an art dealer's family.
PARIS FRIEND - SHUANG XUETAO
Xiaoguo had a terror of thirst, so he kept a glass of water on the table beside his hospital bed. As soon as it was empty, he asked me to refill it. I wanted to warn him that this was unhealthy - guzzling water all night long puts pressure on the kidneys, and pissing that much couldn't be good for his injury. He was tall, though, so I decided his insides could probably cope.
WILD SIDE
Is Lake Tahoe's bear boom getting out of hand?
GETTING A GRIP
Robots learn to use their hands.
WITHHOLDING SEX FROM MY WIFE
In the wake of [the] election, progressive women, who are outraged over Donald Trump's victory at the ballot box, have taken to social media with public, vengeful vows of chastity. - The Free Press.
DEADLINE EXTENSION
Old age, reborn.