And all He asked in return was that they not eat from the Tree of Knowledge. But, lo, it came to pass that they did eat from this tree. And when the Lord saw that they had disobeyed Him, He was filled with wrath. And so He said to Eve, "Because you have done this, I will make your labor pains severe, and you will suffer greatly during childbirth." And to Adam He said, "From this day forth, you will work by the sweat of your brow in the fields, and indeed you shall die there, for you are made of dust, and to dust you shall return." And banished Adam and Eve and brought forth His Angel to guard the Garden with a flaming, whirring sword for all eternity.
And when Adam and Eve were out of earshot, the Lord turned to His Angel and said, "Was that too harsh?" And the Angel stared back at Him and said, "Uh, yeah, probably. They ate one piece of fruit." And the Lord groaned and said, "Why didn't you stop me?" And the Angel said, "We're supposed to be a united front. If we contradict each other, it'll just make them confused." And she shook her head and said, "What was with that 'dust' thing?" And the Lord sighed and said, "I don't know. I knew it was crazy even while I was saying it, but I couldn't stop myself.
It was just, like, out of nowhere I heard my dad's voice coming out of my mouth.' And the Angel said, "Well, I guess we should go talk to them." And the Lord said, "What do you mean?" And the Angel said, "You know, to tell them we changed our mind about the punishment." And the Lord said, "No, we've got to follow through. Otherwise, they'll never take anything we say seriously again!" And He handed her the sword and set it on fire and told her to start whirring it.
And the Angel said, "I really don't think we're going about this right." And the Lord said, "Just let me handle the discipline, O.K.? I know what I'm doing."
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der January 02 - 09, 2023 (Double Issue)-Ausgabe von The New Yorker.
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Diese Geschichte stammt aus der January 02 - 09, 2023 (Double Issue)-Ausgabe von The New Yorker.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
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THE ST. ALWYNN GIRLS AT SEA SHEILA HETI
There was a general sadness that day on the ship. Dani was walking listlessly from cabin to cabin, delivering little paper flyers announcing the talent show at the end of the month. She had made them the previous week; then had come news that the boys' ship would not be attending. It almost wasn't worth handing out flyers at all—almost as if the show had been cancelled. The boys' ship had changed course; it was now going to be near Gibraltar on the night of the performance—nowhere near where their ship would be, in the middle of the North Atlantic sea. Every girl in school had already heard Dani sing and knew that her voice was strong and good. The important thing was for Sebastien to know. Now Sebastien would never know, and it might be months before she would see him again—if she ever would see him again. All she had to look forward to now were his letters, and they were only delivered once a week, and no matter how closely Dani examined them, she could never have perfect confidence that he loved her, because of all his mentions of a girlfriend back home.
WHEELS UP
Can the U.K.’s Foreign Secretary negotiate a course between the E.U. and President Trump?
A CRITIC AT LARGE - CHECK THIS OUT
If you think apps and social media are ruining our ability to concentrate, you haven't been paying attention.
PARTY FAVORS
Perle Mesta and the golden age of the Washington hostess.
CHARLOTTE'S PLACE
Living with the ghost of a cinéma-vérité pioneer.
THE CURRENT CINEMA - GHOST'S-EYE VIEW
“Presence.”
MILLENNIALS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Fame is fickle, and no one knows this better than millennials. Once, they were everywhere—in television laugh tracks for “The Big Bang Theory,” in breathless think pieces about social-media narcissism, and acting the fool in 360p YouTube comedy videos. Then—poof! Gone like yesterday’s avocado toast.
ANNALS OF INQUIRY: CHASING A DREAM
What insomniacs know.
THE MASTER BUILDER
Norman Foster's empire of image control.
INTIMATE PROJECTS DEPT. THE GOLDFISH BOWL
There are roughly eight hundred galleries that hold the permanent collection of the Met, and as of a recent Tuesday morning the married writers Dan and Becky Okrent had examined every piece in all but two.
