STORIES FROM THE TRUMP BIBLE

Now, Noah was very faithful, so God commanded him to build a mighty ark, telling him, “Take your family and two of every living thing.”

- BRUCE HEADLAM AND STEPHEN SHERRILL

The Great Flood

But there was one animal that Noah couldn’t catch, and that was the beautiful unicorn, a white horse with a horn on its head. They’re very tricky, those unicorns. They hid from Noah and perished in the flood.

Noah became very sad and spoke to God: “Lord, why have you forsaken the unicorn? Especially when you have other creatures here I don’t care for, frankly.”

After forty days, God kept his promise and the rain stopped. Noah and his family stepped out of the ark and into a new world. But he couldn’t stop thinking about unicorns.

Imagine if we had unicorns today. Wouldn’t that be something?

The Testing of Abraham

“Abraham!” God commanded. “Take your son to the mountain and make of him a sacrifice to me.”

But Abraham had a multitude of sons by many wives. That’s how they did it back then. Many wives. Some say it was better that way.

“Lord,” Abraham replied, “can you tell me which son? I have so many.”

“Your firstborn.” “Just the one, Lord? Really, there are so many I don’t remember all their names.”

“Just the one. It’s not a big deal.”

“Are you sure? Honestly, Lord, I can’t find them all jobs as it is.”

“O.K., fine. Take a couple.” “The firstborn and one other?”

“It doesn’t matter. You choose.”