Death Skull let out a hysterical cackle, which echoed piercingly from the stone walls of his lair.
"Why so combative?" he said, emerg ing from the shadows. "At the end of the day, we're not so different, you and I."
"What are you talking about?" Ultra Man demanded.
"We are both strangers to this world," Death Skull intoned. "Maligned, misunderstood. We make our own paths, live by our own rules, refuse to compromise for anyone. Yes, in many ways, we are the same."
Ultra Man squinted at him. "I don't know, man," he said. "That's a pretty big stretch. Like, I know we both wear capes, or whatever. But I stand for good, and you stand for evil. That's about as different as it gets."
"Hmm," Death Skull murmured. "Hmm."
"I told you it was pointless," Death Skull said to his wife, Jackie. "It's impossible to make friends after forty."
"I do it all the time," Jackie said.
"It's different for guys!" Death Skull shricked.
"I want more specifics," Jackie pressed. "What did Ultra Man say when you asked him if he wanted to be friends with you?"
Death Skull averted his black eyes.
"Let me guess," Jackie said. "You didn't do it like we practiced."
"I'm not going to just walk up to him and say, 'Please be my friend,"he scoffed. "I mean, what is this, kindergarten?"
He let out a cackle, but the echo wasn't great, because their apartment had carpeting.
"O.K., so Ultra Man isn't a good fit," Jackie said. "That doesn't mean you have to give up on friendship. Why don't you try joining a group for villains, like the Terrible Ten or the Harvard Club?"
"The dues are obscene!" Death Skull thundered. "I don't even play squash!"
"Look," Jackie said. "If you want to stop being lonely and don't try to pretend you're not, because you already admitted it when you were drunk-then you've got to be more open-minded." She headed for the kitchen.
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der May 13, 2024-Ausgabe von The New Yorker.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent ? Anmelden
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der May 13, 2024-Ausgabe von The New Yorker.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent? Anmelden
QUARTET ISLAND
Mendelssohn on Mull celebrates chamber music away from urban pressures.
FIX YOU
The self-help positivity of Coldplay.
ILLUMINATIONS
Suzanne Jackson captures the transformative power of light.
RAT PACK
The classic rodent studies that foretold a nightmarish human future.
ROYAL TREATMENT
The unrivalled omnipresence of Queen Elizabeth IL.
WELL, WELL, WELL
Eating—and not-in the epicenter of hype diets.
NEWARK STATE OF MIND
Mayor Ras Baraka's reasonable radicalism.
DOOM SCROLLING
Social media and the teen-suicide crisis.
THE WORKER REVOLT
Harris and Walz try to stop blue-collar Americans from drifting to Trump.
THE CHIT-CHATBOT
Is talking with a machine a conversation?