The keys to healthy self-esteem

Crucial to a happy life, it’s time we started taking self-esteem more seriously. Under COVID the foundations of good self-esteem, including positive social situations, employability and the chance to embark on new activities and challenges, have suffered, making it more important than ever to address this fundamental issue.

- LINDA MOON

Do you often feel that, to put it bluntly, you suck? Welcome to the club. At the same time, our common struggle with self-worth can mean we’re liable to brush aside the problem. Low self-esteem has become such a commonplace descriptor of feeling bad that maybe we’ve started to tune it out, minimise or even dismiss it, says Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW and a clinical psychologist with over 30 years’ experience.

Research shows poor self-worth is closely associated with depression and anxiety. Unfortunately this link has also led to it being accepted as an insidious part of that package, Shaw says. Pop psychology has contributed to us trivialising the problem with quick-fix Band-Aid ideas that don’t adequately address the issue. We should take self-esteem more seriously of itself, cherish and foster it — in ourselves and others. Because frequently, it’s at the heart of our problems.

Essential to well-being and society

Healthy self-esteem (liking yourself) is vital to positive mental health. As Shaw says, “It’s critical for keeping oneself going and feeling of value in the world and in our relationships; some sense of meaning and purpose as to why we exist.” Self-esteem is also core to helping you take on new challenges crucial to your survival and resilience. “You need a bit of self-esteem to help you survive better, to take action, improve your life and in fact, to even participate well in relationships,” she says. “It’s really important, not just for mental health, but for leading a purposeful life.”