An every day sort of love

We interview four couples on love, friendship, sacrifices and growing together

- Sanelisiwe Maliza

There are many

REASONS MARRIAGE IS A GOOD IDEA FOR MEN.

The data speaks for itself. According to ScienceDaily, research shows married men enjoy more successful careers than their single peers with a financial return that includes higher earnings, more assets and job stability. Married men make about R240 000 more than their single peers with otherwise similar backgrounds - married men are also more likely than unmarried men to be in the top 1% of earners.

Married men are also proven to be happier and healthier than their unmarried counterparts. Men who get and stay married live almost 10 years longer than their unmarried peers.

But despite the overwhelming data that shows marriage is good for men, many are reluctant or avoid it entirely.

Perhaps, that's because marriage and love require vulnerability.

"As a society, we're embarrassed by love," says poet Diane Ackerman. "We treat it as if it were an obscenity. We reluctantly admit to it, even saying the word makes us stumble and blush. Love is the most important thing in our lives, a passion for which we'd fight or die, and yet, we're reluctant to linger over its names."

Love's one of life's miracles. It also requires courage, and that's why author Bell Hooks argued that "many of us choose relationships of affection and care that'll never become loving because they feel safer. The demands aren't as intense as loving requires. The risk isn't as great."

We spoke to four couples who dared to take that risk.

One of whom is my parents, Ntombomzi and Silumko Maliza, who've been married for 39 years. From their humor-filled friendship, the bickering, the sickness, and even when they flirted with the idea of divorce. I've watched, opined, and judged the rollercoaster of their love from the sidelines, sometimes confused as to why they insist on carrying on.