Keeping It Real

In an age of social media, we're experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. Two friends who met online tell you how to grow an authentic connection

- AMY WEATHERLY

Why is it so hard to make friends these days? Busy lives, digital distractions, lingering pandemic isolation-so much gets in the way of lasting friendship.

Yet friends matter more than ever. Last year, the U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an advisory about America's epidemic of loneliness. Calling isolation a "profound threat to our health and well-being," he urged Americans to reconnect with loved ones.

Jesus called his disciples friends. "The greatest love you can show is to give your life for your friends," he said. Perhaps the book of Proverbs says it best: "A friend loves at all times."

Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston know what it takes to make friends against the odds. The two writers met online and bonded over shared interests (including a passion for queso), forging a friendship that has survived hectic schedules, two long-distance moves and a global pandemic.

In their new book, Here for It, Amy and Jess share their wisdom about making, keeping and deepening friendships. They draw on their own relationship and the experiences of 1.3 million followers in their popular Facebook community, "Sister, I Am With You," a forum for all things friendship.

Guideposts asked Amy and Jess to recommend four ways our readers can strengthen friendships in their own lives. Here's what they told us:

1. Be flexible, forgiving...and honest.

Jess: Not everyone has the same capacity for friendship. And people's capacity changes throughout life. Kids make friends easily because they have tons of free time. Grown-ups busy with work, kids and errands? Not so much.

Forgive friends when life gets in the way. Be honest when your capacity gets squeezed. But also look for friends who share your emotional needs and abilities. If you're a mom with small kids, it's a good bet another mom will not only get you intuitively but have the same friendship expectationsand amount to give—as you.