PLAYBOY'S party jokes

“I joined one of those multilevel marketing schemes,” the brother replied.

SEX talk about sex in 2019 the way they used to talk about having a baby: “The gender doesn’t matter to me, as long as it’s healthy.”—Bri Pruett

MUTUAL masturbation is like paying a handyman to assemble an Ikea bed instead of putting it together yourself. Either way, you’re going to take a nap afterward, but you’ll have a better time if someone does it for you.—Adam Levin

A girl once told me she wanted to experiment in bed, so I poured a bunch of baking soda and vinegar into her belly button and yelled “Behold the majesty of Krakatoa!” Anyway, we’re married now.—Ian Karmel

YOU can tell a man is about to end things when he starts listing all your good qualities in a really sad voice. “You’re smart. You’re successful. You’re funny.” Oh no. And you’re dumping me!—Marcia Belsky