All over the place

Should we return to using some of the country's original Māori place names? JULES OLDER puts the case for change

- Jules Older's

Welcome to Aotearoa New W Zealand's Worst Place Names Awards. The envelope, please.

In fifth place: Cape Maria van Diemen. C'mon. It's one thing to name a New Zealand city after a middling English politician, but naming the westernmost point of the North Island after the wife of the Dutch guy who financed your trip, that's low. Cape Maria van Diemen: a place fair begging for a new and better name.

Fourth place: Ninety Mile Beach. Yes, it’s a beautiful strand of sand stretching from Ahipara to Scott Point. Yes, it’s an abundant source of pipi and other delicious kai moana. But it ain’t 90 miles long. It’s only 55 (88km). Its original name was Te-Oneroa-a-Tōhē, which means “the long beach of Tōhē”.

Third place: Lower Hutt. Who was Lower Hutt named after? No one. It was named by and for one Sir William Hutt. He never came to the North Island. Or any of our islands. Under the banner of the New Zealand Company, he sold land he didn’t own to gullible Brits – and named the place after himself. Nailed it!