I'VE got a bone to pick with Elaine C Smith. Just a wee one, mind. She's explaining how she'd rather be seen as a comedic talent than a pretty face, but she's quite clearly both. When she's not done "down", as it were playing spiky-tongued, greasy-haired, track suit neighbour-from-hell wearing Christine O'Neal in the BBC's brilliant sitcom Two Doors Down she's one helluva glamorous woman. And I tell her so.
"Well thank you, darling," she replies in her warm Glaswegian accent.
"I love you for that! Christine is, of course, anything but glamorous and attractive. I mean her hair, her clothes, the fat suit I put on to play her... she's made to look as unattractive as possible.
"When I play Christine, I sometimes look in the mirror and think, 'Why is my husband still married to me?' "If you're an actress - especially a comedy actress - I don't think there's any place for vanity, though. There are some who, although funny, at the end of the day still want to look good.
"That's just not possible in some roles. I would much rather be funny than beautiful - there are so many good-looking actresses out there, but not so many funny ones.
"I've found my niche. I grew up watching fine comic actresses like Dandy Nichols and Beryl Reid. Look how frumpy Dandy was playing Else Garnett in Till Death Us Do Part. Yet in real life she was glamorous.
"She was playing a part - just like me in Two Doors Down." Playing foul-mouthed Christine has been "liberating", she admits. After all, Elaine had been irretrievably linked to Mary, the long-suffering wife of Gregor Fisher's titular, lovably alcohol-soaked Glaswegian Rab C Nesbitt. They made nearly 70 episodes of the comedy classic over a decade.
"For a long time, people just thought I WAS Mary Nesbitt," smiles Elaine.
The truth is, we haven't seen anything yet. For she's taking to the stage in the classic musical Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which is currently touring the country.
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