So this bloke says to me: “Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?” I thought: “That’s all I need – a Je-hoover’s witness.”
Mate of mine has just been sacked off the dodgems. But he’s doing them for funfair dismissal.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week. Phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.
Sex is like playing Bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says: “Your eyes sparkle like dimonds.” I said: “Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck.”
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said: “Are you going to help?” I said: “No, six should be enough.”
Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says: “Oi – get out! We don’t want your type in here.”
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der November 08, 2022-Ausgabe von Daily Star.
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Diese Geschichte stammt aus der November 08, 2022-Ausgabe von Daily Star.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
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DEPART AND PARCELL
But Aussie aims to sign off with one Final fling
AL OF A RISE
Pereira's a show-stopper
FACE OF KOS THE RIPPER
DNA and facial tech provide `closure'
'BROKEN' JUSTICE ON TRIAL
Backlog causes delays
MOLLY WAS FURY-OUS!
TV star accused Tommy
GYM AND TONIC
Gen Z swapping boozy nights out for working out
BOOK YER SUMMER HOL NOW
Rush to beat feared Budget tax sting
United Kinkdom
BRITS MAD FOR BIT OF HANKY SPANKY
SWAGATHA!
Court fight kicks off over Coleen's £1.8m legal bill
Greedy piggies
OBESITY TRIPLES AS WE IGNORE PORTION SIZES