She's saucy in public but cold in bedroom

JANE O'GORMAN SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS TODAY AND EVERY DAY

- JANE O'GORMAN

SEX LIFE RIGID & BORING

MY girlfriend pretends she's saucy and sexually adventurous. Any time we go out with friends, she tells blue jokes and makes off-colour comments.

She once jumped up during an open mic night at our local pub and did 10 minutes of smutty comedy. Some gags made my toes curl yet the crowd loved her and she got a standing ovation.

But behind closed doors, she's cold and fussy. She doesn't enjoy sex and imposes all sorts of bedroom rules that I must obey.

Touching

From not touching her boobs or giving her oral sex to keeping the lights switched off, she is like a block of ice.

She won't allow me into bed unless I've had a shower first, she thinks that snogging is disgusting and will only agree do the missionary position.