Trump is ditching the psychos and building a very slick team

THE curious case of the puppy killer, which went viral this week, confirms that there is room for only one political "psycho" in Trumpland.

- Sarah Baxter

The only American who can get away with conduct that would kill off anybody else's career is sitting in a New York courthouse facing allegations of having paid hush money to porn star Stormy Daniels. The dogslayer in question, Kristi Noem, the governor of South Dakota, now known as "Cruella", must be wondering where she went wrong.

The tone-deaf, trigger-happy Noem, who had high hopes of becoming Trump's vice-presidential running mate, has just shot herself royally in the foot. In No Going Back, one of those ghastly political books that aspiring candidates for national office feel obliged to churn out, Noem boasts about killing Cricket, her family's 14-month-old wirehaired pointer.

She must rue the day a Guardian reporter sniffed out the best bits ahead of publication next week.

"I hated that dog," Noem admits in her book, adding that the boisterous Cricket was "worse than useless" as a hunting dog. After the over-exuberant pup slaughtered some chickens, it was time for her to act. Noem grabbed a gun and shot Cricket in a gravel pit.

"It was not a pleasant job but it had to be done," she boldly confesses. While she was at it, Noem also dispatched the "nasty and mean" family goat, who smelled "rancid" and used to headbutt her children.

At a stroke, Noem's political ambitions were snuffed out. What kind of crazy person murders their dog? In a desperate effort to limit the damage, Noem claimed to have to put down three horses in a subsequent statement and tried to justify her behaviour as the act of a caring but concerned, tough-minded citizen.