A 90-minute horror show Democrats hoped for Superman but got Clark Kent in his dotage

That sickening thud you heard was jaws hitting the floor. That queasy sound you heard was hearts sinking into boots.

- DavidSmith’s sketch

That raspy noise you heard was a US president embodying what felt like the last gasp of the ailing republic.

Say it ain't so, Joe.

The first US presidential debate in Atlanta on Thursday was the night Democrats went from "Don't panic!" to "OK, time to panic!" After months of preparation and expectation, they got to the altar and suddenly realised they were marrying the wrong man.

In 90 miserable minutes, Joe Biden achieved two things that had seemed impossible. He lived down to expectations that were already rock bottom. And he managed to make Donald Trump sound almost coherent. Trump did not win the debate but Biden certainly lost it.

There was a suitably funereal silence as the president, wearing blue tie and flag pin, and Trump, wearing red tie and flag pin, entered CNN's red, white and blue studio. This was the first presidential debate without an audience since John F Kennedy v Richard Nixon in 1960 (those two candidates had a combined age of 90; this time they had a combined age of 159).

Journalists in Atlanta had to watch on TV like everyone else. But the mutual animosity and contempt between the men exuded through the screen. It was clear neither was even thinking about shaking the other's hand.

Democrats had been lulled into a false sense of security by Biden's high energy performance at the State of the Union address. They expected Superman again. Instead they got Clark Kent in his dotage.

The crisis was clear almost as soon as Biden opened his mouth. His voice was hoarse and hard to hear. Clear your throat, man! His team later claimed that he had a cold. Or had he over-prepared?

Early on, he bumbled: "We have 1,000 trillionaires in America - I mean billionaires in America." Then: "... making sure that we're able to make every single solitary person eligible for what I've been able to do with the-with-with - with the Covid. Excuse me, with dealing with everything we have to do with..."