And so, while the arrival of Henry Edward Kane on 20 August meant the England captain missed the annual leather-clad team photoshoot, in which the players dress in traditional Bavarian costume and gurn with glasses of frothing beer, there was no escape when he returned to work this week.
Kane's shorts may have been "a little bit tight", he said after reluctantly forcing down some German sausage at a photocall (conspicuously, no Paulaner beer was drunk), but as he and every other footballer knows, what club sponsors want, club sponsors get.
You may be one of the best paid people on the planet, but if your contract requires you to dispense with your dignity in embroidered German leather - suck it up.
It could have been worse, after all. Did the Croatian centre-back Dejan Lovren know, when he signed for Liverpool in 2014, that he would one day find himself shaving a balloon as part of Nivea Men's longstanding partnership with the club? His bewildered expression in the accompanying advert would suggest not.
At least he is not ridiculed for his technique when de-fuzzing his own chest, as befalls Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain in another ad - "Ooh that's poor shaving performance!" exclaims a commentator as James Milner and Joe Gomez, and the entire viewing public, wince.
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der September 02, 2023-Ausgabe von The Guardian.
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Diese Geschichte stammt aus der September 02, 2023-Ausgabe von The Guardian.
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