Well, something to work on there then, Ruben. It would be tempting at the end of this decelerating game of semi-football to talk about Ruben Amorim at least realising the scale of the job he faces. Except, given Amorim almost certainly possesses a TV set and is interested in football, he already knows the scale of the job. And the scale is: really very big indeed.
It's not the scale though. It's the tone, the texture, the deathly spirit of this United team that really needs to be digested in the flesh, the sheer joyless incoherence, a Manchester United team that is all trapped energy and broken patterns, the football equivalent of a chipped gravy boat handed down unhappily through the generations.
It was there in the hilariously ambling patterns of Joshua Zirkzee, who just seems always to be floating around quite close to the spectacle, like a man listening to a podcast while strolling on the local rec, tactfully avoiding the dogwalkers.
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der November 25, 2024-Ausgabe von The Guardian.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent ? Anmelden
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der November 25, 2024-Ausgabe von The Guardian.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent? Anmelden
Amorim asks for survival mode after Wolves loss
Ruben Amorim said Manchester United must adopt survival mode to end their miserable run after a fourth defeat in five Premier League matches dropped them to 14th, eight points above the relegation zone.
'We have to try' Guardiola calls for January signings after Everton draw
Pep Guardiola and the Manchester City board will discuss new signings for the January transfer window this week, the manager said after his team dropped another two points in the 1-1 draw with Everton.
Arteta backs Martinelli to step up after Saka injury
Mikel Arteta is hoping Gabriel Martinelli can help to fill the void created by Bukayo Saka's hamstring injury, with the England forward likely to miss key fixtures including the north London derby next month.
Wilson and Muniz pounce late to cast doubt on Chelsea's title credentials
Perhaps there will be some debate around Fulham's equaliser after 82 minutes of this 2-1 derby win for Marco Silva's team at Stamford Bridge.
Jones and Salah clear path at the top for Liverpool
Liverpool have kicked off at 8pm on a Boxing Day twice in their history.
Tonali helps Newcastle ease past 10-man Villa
Sandro Tonali has brought Newcastle an abundance of gifts but perhaps foremost among them is the rare ability to slow games down that offers Eddie Howe's high-intensity team the sort of invaluable control they have so often lacked in recent months.
Elanga takes Forest third and deepens Postecoglou's pain
The mist rolled in with such increasing density from the Trent that eventually it was difficult to make out which Tottenham player was running down which blind alley. But what is crystal clear is Nottingham Forest's momentum which, after Anthony Elanga's third goal in successive games, has lifted them into third place in the Premier League.
Haaland's wasted spot-kick adds to Guardiola's gloom
Manchester City's plight is their individual kind of déjà vu nightmare.
Fabianski carried off but Bowen edges out Juric's new Saints
If we take the view that Southampton are doomed - as a reminder, no club has ever stayed in the Premier League with such a lowly points tally at this stage of the season - then small positives must be sought wherever possible for the beleaguered regulars at St Mary's.
'Rubbish game' but Guéhi content with valuable point
The visiting captain, Marc Guéhi, branded Crystal Palace's goalless draw with Bournemouth a \"rubbish game\" and \"boring for the neutral\".
