Fissiparous Sara D.

VIRTUAL REALITY - Disclosure: The D does not stand for deranged or demented, but rather to the first letter of one of the most awesome political brands locally.

- TONY LOPEZ

During a rambling long-promised two-hour press conference Friday (Oct. 18, 2024), a fractious and rather unhinged Vice President, Sara Z. Duterte, finally made official her fissiparous relations with President Ferdinand Romualdez Marcos Jr.

“I am not on cocaine, the room is just too cold,” she clarified to explain her use of a handkerchief and an army-grade metal drinking bottle. She frequently flicked her tongue like what lizards and snakes do when hunting for prey, or when hungry. She told the press corps she was hungry, at the end of her two-hour harangue.

Anyway, Friday’s presscon was the start of what could be a series of tete-a-tetes, tackling a number of personalities - from PRD (President Rodrigo Duterte), to “that guy” (President Marcos Jr.), to “Tamby,” short for Tambaloslos (Speaker Martin Romualdez) and somebody whose name she refused to mention for the moment (the First Lady?), and issues – like “foreign policy, geopolitics.” And maybe, her waste of gargantuan confidential funds during her time as Davao mayor and a short stint as secretary of the Department of Education (DepEd)? Plus, her fear of being impeached by the House of Representatives under Mr. Tamby. Anyway, she would start from year 2021, she said of her telenovela.

“It’s nearing Christmas and prices are high. People cannot afford their spaghetti and mango float for Noche Buena,” Sara noted of the present, in Tagalog and English. She said: