Brotherhood programme helps abusive men break cycle of violence

Members learn to manage their anger, mentor others, support 'brothers' in need

- Theresa Tan

A programme that helps abusive men to break the cycle of violence has grown from strength to strength, amid a rise in spousal violence in the past few years.

More men have joined the Thye Hua Kwan Moral Charities (THKMC) Brotherhood programme, which works with those who have abused their loved ones to help them heal and stop using violence. Some men have even stepped up to help their "brothers" in need.

One of them is Mr Rizwan Habib who, together with his girlfriend Elizabeth Neo, did not hesitate to invite their "brother's" wife and three children to stay with them when they recently left home.

Mr Rizwan, a 42-year-old who works in a social media firm, said: "She had (a marital) issue with her husband and she was worried about their safety, that things would get out of hand."

The woman and her children slept on the streets for a night before she called Ms Neo for help, and the couple took them in.

The lack of space in the couple's one-room rental flat was no barrier to their resolve to help. Ms Neo, a 35-year-old part-time waitress, is divorced with a six-year-old son.

The couple knew the wife and her husband through the Brotherhood programme, which started in 2019 with just 10 men. It has supported over 100 men so far and now has 63 active members.

Mr Rizwan and Ms Neo alerted Mr Ben Ang, a social worker who runs the programme, to the family being in trouble, while other members of the group checked in on the husband.

After talking to the husband to calm him down and assessing it was safe, Mr Ang said the wife and her children returned home after one night at Mr Rizwan and Ms Neo's flat, while the husband went to stay with his sister for a few days to cool down.

He added that the wife and her husband are now on better terms as they have learnt to communicate more.