Stepping up at 16 to care for sick mum

Young caregivers face multiple challenges that differ from older caregivers', and their numbers are set to rise

- Venessa Lee

When Mr William Koh was 16, he ran into difficulties while caring for his then 59-year-old mother, who has dementia.

Then in his first year of junior college, he was not sure what to do when his mum Margaret Laird had problems with her credit card.

He asked a favourite teacher, who taught him General Paper: "Unrelated to GP, can you tell me how to get a replacement credit card? Do I have to take my mum to the bank or can I collect it myself?"

He proceeded to open up to his teacher, who was initially taken aback at his query, about his family situation. He had become the main caregiver of Ms Laird several months earlier, after his O-level examinations.

Ms Laird, a former insurance agent who was born in Britain, is now 63. She is divorced from Mr Koh's Singaporean Chinese father, with whom she has three sons. The older two, who are aged 30 and 28 and do not live with her, pitch in occasionally in caring for her. A domestic helper takes care of her needs when they are not around.

Now aged 19, Mr Koh, who is doing national service, recalls: "If you're a young caregiver, you don't know how to do adult things.

At first, I bottled up a lot of my emotions. I didn't really tell anyone. I don't think people my age have parents with dementia. I felt out of place. Other parents still have the ability to take care of their child, but for me, it was the other way around."

Young caregivers like Mr Koh face multiple challenges - such as learning how to adult or navigating fledgling careers while caring for their loved ones - that may differ from the experiences of older caregivers.