JOHN AIKEN 'MY OWN MARRIAGE COMES FIRST'

With Married at First Sight NZ almost here, the psychologist opens up about his formative years in Aotearoa, finding love with Kiwi star Kelly Swanson-Roe and how they keep their romance alive after all this time.

- JUDY BAILEY

He’s the voice of reason, an oasis of calm in the emotional rollercoaster of trainwreck telly that is Married at First Sight Australia. One of three experts in the “experiment”, John Aiken is not afraid to call it as he sees it.

Routinely pulling up the Three show’s participants for being less than candid, he fixes them with an icy stare and a quizzical raised eyebrow. “Jack,” he says. “I need to know how you feel about Tori because I’m not buying it.”

MAFS, as fans call it, pulls in huge audience numbers, even outrating the 6pm news on occasion, and yes, it’s my guilty pleasure. There, I confess! And there are clearly many like me – closet reality TV watchers whose hearts broke when hitherto hard man Timothy had an epiphany at a dinner party and broke down as he realised how much of his life he had wasted by being closed off to affection. His bride, the patient Lucinda, was quick to bring comfort.

Those moments are television gold, but they’re also relationship gold – solid life lessons for the rest of us. Why is it so successful? John reckons it’s because it’s based on a fairy tale: Can two strangers fall in love?

It’s also compelling and combative in a way not often seen on screen. “It’s game on,” says John, 53. “The participants come at me and I have to tell them some home truths.”

It appeals to both singles and couples. “They learn what not to do. We’ve set out to show different sorts of relationships – same sex, middleaged couples… It’s an effective way of demonstrating relationship tools. I love MAFS. It’s a privilege to be at the front of this juggernaut.”