Pinky promise 'I'LL HELP YOU GRIEVE'

Well-known for her roles on stage and screen, these days you'll often find Pinky at funerals - and she couldn't be happier

- Catherine Milford

Writing a book on death and dying may not sound like the most uplifting of endeavours - but for comedian, actress, writer and celebrant Pinky Agnew, putting This is Farewell together was a rewarding and very personal experience, designed to provide comfort and empowerment to people when they need it most.

"We all know we're going to die, but we live and love as if we're not," says Pinky, 67. "Then when those we love die, it's a huge shock and we experience massive grief. For many of us, part of processing that grief means writing things down or reading about others' experiences.

"This book is designed to give people something they can use to discover how others have dealt with that loss, that grief. The greatest message of this book is love and hope, of connecting with each other on a very human level."

This is Farewell is an array of readings from a wide variety of authors, ranging from William Shakespeare and Dorothy Parker to Barry Crump and Fanny Rose Parker. And while some of the readings bring tears to your eyes, others evoke smiles and even laughter.

In Mother's Day, for example, Kelly Ana Morey writes: "It was the smallest of occurrences, my mother's death. 'Don't bury me next to your father,' she rasped. And I laughed, turned the page of a year-old Woman's Weekly. No bloody fear!"

Pinky explains, "There are words from the ages in this book and I'm really proud of it. Our New Zealand literature and te reo is woven all through it. New Zealand writers stand equally with authors throughout history.