Ahoy there, Captain BIRDSEYE

A new volunteer signs on at the charity shop

- Rosie X

As any woman will tell you, and at no extra charge, men have no staying power. Nowhere has this been more obvious than at our little charity shop.

One moment a male volunteer is putting his coffee mug in the cupboard in the back room and establishing his biscuit preference. The next thing we know, he’s hopping from foot to foot and explaining that he can’t come in for the next few years as he’s been invited to lunch with an old school friend.

We have had a few successes, of course, but I am overlooking all of these for comic effect.

Even Mr Dear hasn’t proved as reliable as regular readers might expect. The last time he was here, he bunked off halfway through his second week to paint the cricket pavilion and never returned.

So, all things considered, we did not have high hopes of David.

‘Apparently he’s ex-Navy,’ said Mrs Beasley, our manager. ‘I’ve not met him, but he should be reliable enough – a couple of the committee members have known him for years, and speak very highly of him.’

‘I give him a month,’ said Wendy, muttering under her breath.

‘Sorry?’ said Mrs B.

‘I said we’ll give him a very warm welcome.’

‘Oh, one more thing,’ said Mrs B. ‘Apparently it’s David rather than Dave. He is quite sensitive on the subject, so please keep that in mind.’