Polly Vernon

ARE YOU ready for Woke Christmas? For a FESTIVE period defined by the moral code of our age: political correctness on shouty steroids, enforced by whoever on Twitter is most sure they’re right, and anyone who isn’t with them is against them?

I am – but only by accident. Apparently, the woke-iest thing a gal can do this Christmas is not wrap gifts. Which, I don’t! In Woke Christmas world, non-wrapped presents = good, because although you’re denied the chance to see joyful surprise light up your rellies’ little faces as they rip paper off whatever delicie use token nette you’ve bestowed upon them[1], you’re also avoiding paper waste. In my world, non-wrapped presents = a faintly shamefaced consequence of me being generally lazy and incompetent. But this year, apparently, they’ll make me woke!