It's Only My pinion Daytime's most outspoken columnist!

Umbrella stories are back! Whodunits, “Who’s the daddy?” and classic wedding disasters.

- Carolyn Hinsey

“Everything is awesome,” insisted GH’s Maxie to Britt before all hell broke loose at her and Peter’s double wedding with Anna and Finn. Normally, the action builds to a shocking interruption or kidnapping or reveal but GH gave us all three. (What, no locusts?) All roads led to Maxie’s groom, who was acting so sinister I think he twirled an invisible mustache.

Peter: “I don’t want you at my wedding.”

Spinelli: “This marriage nauseates me.”

Him and all the other guests. Obrecht resurfaced with dire warnings for Maxie — who did not heed them — so Anna and Valentin hatched a plan to kidnap her “son” and prove he’s a criminal. Unfortunately, they locked Peter in a shed about 10 feet away so Dante could hear his screams and spring him. So much for that WSB training.

Anna (to Finn in the ensuing chaos): “We just have to get past this thing with Peter.”

Fat chance. Obrecht revealed Alex was Peter’s mother, which Anna confirmed, Finn walked out and it was downhill from there.

On the bright side, it was fun having Anna and Finn’s exes Scorpio and Jackie show up together. Robert’s weary sarcasm struck just the right note with Jackie, Mac and even Obrecht when she bragged she was bringing Peter to justice.

Robert: “I don’t see a lot of justice here. Just a bunch of broken hearts.”

Especially Finn’s. I’m bummed his BF Tracy didn’t return for his nuptials. Remember this exchange?

Tracy: “Am I invited or do I have to crash?”