iPHONE COOLING DEVICE: RAZER PHONE COOLER CHROMA: IT ENRAGES ME THAT THIS EVEN EXISTS

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- JASON CROSS

We've all been there. You're busy playing a game on your phone (right by a power outlet, of course), and you're thinking, “How is anyone going to know I'm a gamer if my phone isn't blasting RGB lighting out the back? How can I expect someone walking by to realize I've spent hundreds of dollars on predatory micro-transactions and in-app purchases if my phone doesn't sound like a frickin' jet engine?”

Finally, you need suffer no longer. Razer has got your back...or rather, your iPhone's back, with its Phone Cooler Chroma. A product well-built but so ill-conceived on every level that it makes me mad just to know it exists. This is a solution in search of a problem, a product that is both expensive and useless. But don't worry, it also makes using your phone for anything at all a much worse experience, too!

DOES YOUR PHONE RUN HOT?

If you've ever been using your iPhone and thought, "Boy, it sure did get hot!" then you might think a cooling device is the right answer. These days, phones mostly get hot when they charge rapidly, or sometimes during extended sessions playing high-end games. Simple games and everyday use really don't make your phone warm enough to want an external accessory to deal with it. Still, assuming you do want a thing to cool down your iPhone, this is not a good product.

Here's what the Razer Phone Cooler Chroma does: It attaches a massive puck-shaped cooler to the back of your iPhone via Magsafe, where it shines RGB lights and a small fan makes a ton of noise.

That's it. That's the product: A loud, bright, bulky, expensive, phone cooler.