Inside The Mind Of A Mistress

The secrets, the thrills, the subterfuge, the regrets – two women share their intimate stories about having an affair.

- Gabisile Ngcobo

IT’S a love triangle that ticks all the titillating boxes – a high-powered man, a take-no-prisoners wife and a bootylicious bit on the side. Add social media into the mix and a volley of outrageous tweets and you have a story the whole country’s talking about.

This was the case recently when Nomachule “Norma” Gigaba (36), wife of finance minister Malusi Gigaba (45), mentioned the rumoured 2015 affair between her husband and Buhle Mkhize, a glamorous 30-something businesswoman who’s believed to live in New York.

In a recent TV interview Norma was asked about the alleged affair and said dealing with the allegations had made her stronger.

But she added it had been hard on her elderly parents, especially as the stories had begun shortly after she and Malusi were married.

Afterwards Buhle ranted on Twitter. “Could you not have declined to answer that question?” she tweeted and included Norma’s Twitter handle.

“You started it knowing I go crazy when you step on my toes,” she said.

Buhle has subsequently vanished from social media and deleted her Twitter account – but the exchange has brought the issue of mistresses back into the public eye.

Affairs are as old as the hills, of course, and hardly ever end without tears being shed. So why do people embark on them?

A study by the Soul City Institute for Health & Development Communication questioned those involved in extramarital affairs about their motivation.

Male respondents said they had affairs because they were simply inclined to have more than one partner, they wanted sexual satisfaction, or peer pressure made them do it.

Women’s reasons and needs were a little different – while they also wanted sexual satisfaction, they did it for money and material gain too.