Keep it Together

There’s more to divorce than affairs and money problems – here specialist lawyers reveal the surprising reasons couples split, and offer tips to ride out the storm.

SIMMERING resent­ment, bickering and mud­slinging – over the years leading Brit­ ish lawyers Janet Clegg and Hilary Browne Wilkinson have seen it all as they’ve refereed countless divorces, including dozens of high­profile splits.

This has given them a unique per­spective on marriage – often, as they watch warring spouses, they can see exactly where the rot set in.

Surprisingly in most cases it’s not infidelity, sexual problems or some great rift that’s to blame. More often it’s evident that couples have simply lapsed into bad habits – spouses have taken each other for granted and relationships have become stale and boring.

Having seen many of the pitfalls, the legal eagles believe they’re perfectly poised to help people avoid them.

In this extract from their new book they identify the small warning signs that might indicate your relationship is in crisis and give helpful tips on what you can do to get it back on track.

1. TERRIBLE TIMEKEEPING

At the start of a romance we may be inclined to excuse poor timekeeping as endearingly ditzy but as a relationship progresses and planes are missed and the beginnings of films and plays are never seen, it can be seen as highly dis­ respectful and expensive.

TIP : Lateness needn’t be a dealbreaker but don’t passively give in to it either. Find practical ways to reduce the irritation. For example, leaving tickets at the box office or travelling separately to the airport can relieve stress for the punctual partner.

2. TIFFS OVER TIDINESS

To the tidy half of the marriage dirty pots and pans around the kitchen or clothes strewn around the bedroom too often are a visible symbol of contempt and laziness.