What Happened When Woman Got A Buzzcut?

OMAN GOT Celebrities and supermodels have made a shaved head the haircut of 2017. But what happened when a real woman got one?

- Cassie Powney

Ta-daaaa! You’re all done!” I raise my hand and run it tentatively over the peroxide blonde bristles now populating my scalp. It feels like someone has laid Astroturf on my head. “It suits you,” I hear someone say from somewhere in the room. I catch sight of my manly jaw, exposed in all its right-angled glory, and manage a shaky “thank you” back. But the truth is, I’m not so sure. “I agree, you look gorgeous,” my make-up artist chips in, but when I glance up at her, all I can see is hair – gorgeous Rapunzel-length hair. Shit.

I have a buzzcut – the scalp skimming crop now found on models, actresses and hip young things across the country. Pick up any fashion magazine and it will tell you it’s the haircut of 2017. And I’ve got to say, I think Cara Delevingne looks even hotter than before with her new peroxide buzz. Ditto supermodels Ruth Bell and Ajak Deng. I mooted it in an ideas meeting with my editor.

“It’s the next big trend…” I gushed. “Everyone will be writing about it!”

“Really?” she said, stony-faced. “Then why don’t you get one?”

And so this is how I find myself, a 34-year-old mother of one, on a drizzly grey day in London, with a buzzcut. I immediately regret dragging on the first items of clothing my hands found on the floor that morning: jeans, a hoodie, leather jacket and Converse. As I leave the house, I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I look less like a Balenciaga catwalk model and more like the love child of Justin Bieber and Bruce Forsyth (RIP, Brucie). The urge to pull my hood over my head is all-consuming.