E Is For Empathy

Is empathy something we teach our children or is it genetically determined? How do we raise children who are empathetic and compassionate?

- Jennifer F Netto

Young Carla was about to enter the supermarket with her mum when she saw a little girl crying in a corner. She quickly called her mum and said, “I think she’s lost her mummy!” Her mum immediately walked to the little girl and asked her if she was alright. The girl said she didn’t know where her mum was and Carla’s mum took her to the information counter and got the staff to make a missing child announcement. They waited until the mother of the girl arrived and they were reunited.

What Carla and her mum did saved that girl’s life. We all know what could happen to a missing child. If Carla or her mum didn’t want to get involved and decided to look the other way, feeling no emotions towards that child, the outcome might have been terrible. So what made them decide to help? It’s called empathy.

PUTTING YOURSELF IN ANOTHER’S SHOES

Empathy is a key element in Emotional Intelligence (EI). It is the ability to feel someone else’s emotions, to understand and be sensitive to other people’s feelings, reactions, and behaviour by analysing a situation. In other words, it is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and having a desire to help them or show care for them.

THE NEED FOR EMPATHY

According to studies, everyone is born with the capacity to feel empathy. However, empathy is something we see less and less these days. Some psychologists say it is an endangered EI. We may be born with the capability of feeling empathy, but many factors can cause a person to lack empathy, such as a broken home, experiencing abuse, lack of parenting and childhood trauma. “Children see, children do” is a well known concept in parenting. If children are brought up in a home that does not value empathy, they are most likely to lose this innate gift.