Love Lessons From 4000 Metres

How a little adventure this summer can lift your relationship to new heights.

- Jerilyn Covert

Taylor Rees clung to the ice, one slip from the abyss. It was dark – Arctic winters mostly are – and fierce winds and sleet whipped in all directions. She and her team, including her boyfriend, Renan Ozturk, had been climbing out of a steep snow-and-rock gully in Iceland when Taylor veered from the group and found herself in a steeper section. Disoriented, she froze.

Renan called down to Taylor, assuring her that she could do this. He manoeuvred close enough to take her 32kg backpack and hand her an ice tool. Her foot slipped, and she pressed hard against the rock, eyes shut. “You have to trust me,” said Renan. “Open your eyes and find your verticality; and then you gotta climb out.”

And Taylor did trust him. They’d been in dire situations before – like the time they nearly ran out of food in the Burmese jungle. If she’d been alone or with anyone else, she wonders if she’d have crumbled. But she was with Renan. “I trusted him, took a minute, and climbed out,” she says.

Taylor, 32, and Renan, 38, are exceptional – filmmakers and adventurers who climbed Wyoming’s Grand Teton on their first date, and returned there for their wedding ceremony five years later in 2016, several months after the Arctic expedition. And they’re proof of what psychologists and countless couples know: adventure is a romantic accelerant, the way it exposes your vulnerabilities and brings you closer. (Death risk not required; a roller-coaster ride can work too.) The outdoors is a great way to get to know somebody – and yourself. Try it this summer.

Climbers quickly develop the attributes of tight couples: trust, support, patience, communication, and teamwork, along with forgiveness, humour, and other pieces of emotional gear to grind through tough spots. All of it can help you forge a happier, hotter relationship, wherever your base camp is.