Lube Up

YES, YOU MIGHT FEEL EMBARRASSED, AND YES, YOU’LL PROBABLY BE CONFUSED; ALTHOUGH WE CAN PRETTY MUCH GUARANTEE SHOP ASSISTANTS DON’T GO HOME AT NIGHT TO DISSECT THE VARIOUS POSSIBILITIES FOR WHY YOU’VE BOUGHT LUBE.

- Kelleigh Korevaar

There are only two types of people who use lube, right? Postmenopausal women who can no longer lubricate naturally, and teenage boys who have just discovered broadband WiFi.

Wrong. Not only can lube make sex (and masturbation) a lot more pleasurable; it also makes the whole thing a lot safer.

It’s Not You… Or Me

“Many men (and women) believe that the use of a lubricant indicates that they have a problem – either for themselves personally, or for their partner. There’s a huge stigma suggesting that vaginal dryness means that a woman is not turned on; and duly, some men believe that suggesting a lubricant means that either they have not turned [a woman] on sufficiently, or their partner is not aroused – both leading to feelings of failure, and a negative thought process and experience in the bedroom.

“This not only leads to uncomfortable sex, but avoids real communication and satisfaction in the bedroom,” says Brodie Meyer, managing director of online adult store Désir.

But here’s the thing: being able to lubricate naturally can be influenced by a whole host of things – none of them necessarily your skill or attractiveness. Of course, there is the possibility it’s due to a lack of arousal or not enough foreplay; but you’ll only know if you ask your partner. Spoiler alert: no one likes a selfish lover.

But just as erectile dysfunction can have a list of causes longer than the insert in that bottle of little blue pills, so too can vaginal dryness. Other than lack of arousal and foreplay, reasons can include hormones, stress, depression, ageing, menopause and medication.

And according to Women’s Health Concern, a platform that serves to educate and advise women about their gynaecological and sexual health, 17% of women suffer from natural dryness during sex. Even before menopause begins.