The Journey

Five caregiving lessons from someone who knows

- Georgene Lahm, Omaha, Nebraska

A NUMBER WITH MY hometown area code popped up on my cell. What now? It had been one emergency after another since my elderly father had moved into a care community 170 miles away. This was the nurse calling. “Your father is having trouble breathing,” she said. I rushed out of my office and made the three-hour drive to Ord, Nebraska, only to find Dad sitting there reading the newspaper and joking with the nurses. “Good to see you, honey,” he said with a wave.

“He’s feeling better now,” said the nurse who’d called me.

Crisis averted—for the time being. But there would be many more trips over the next few years, to see not only my ninety something father but also my mother-in-law, who lived in a nursing home an hour away. My husband, Brian, and I discovered how stressful long-distance caregiving can be. In my job at Home Instead Senior Care, I’d interviewed dozens of experts on caregiver stress. I’d assumed I knew all I needed to know. Wrong. I had a lot to learn firsthand. Here’s some of it.