'Help, I've Been Dumped By My Toddler!'

Ever felt a tiny bit smug to be your little one’s favourite parent – only to suddenly get the cold shoulder? Louisa Pritchard reveals how to cope when you’re relegated to second place

- Louisa Pritchard

My son Huxley ran towards me with a huge smile on his face. But rather than falling into my arms, he veered past me... and straight to his dad. And since that moment, four weeks ago, I’ve been snubbed by my 19-month old on a regular basis. Which, if I’m honest, does bring benefits (‘I’ll just be over here having a Facebook catch up, then?’), but there are times when being sidelined has hurt.

It’s small consolation that I’m not the only one being ‘dumped’. A recent study found around one in four children under 10 prefer playing with their dads. And this shifting of allegiance can start when they are just nine months old, according to experts. “This is around the time separation anxiety sets in and toddlers start to favour one parent over the other,” says clinical psychologist Dr Claire Halsey. “It can be upsetting for parents as their little one starts to swap between Mum and Dad and shows preference and favouritism. There’s no single cause; this shifting of affections is normal.”

And it’s just the start of something that will last throughout their early childhood. “It often settles down by the age of five when a child grows more rational and doesn’t like being ‘unfair’ so will appreciate time with each parent,” says parenting expert Tanith Carey. But from this age, there is also a developmental shift where boys in particular begin to separate from their mothers and identify more with their fathers. “Dads become their masculine role model, while little girls realise that they are the same gender as their mums,” says Tanith.

WHO’S THE FUN ONE?