Can face-to-face meetings between a victim and an abuser—a form of restorative justice—help a society overwhelmed with bad behavior?
New York magazine|July 19 - August 1, 2021
What Set You Off? Didn’t You Care About Me? What Did I Do to Make This Happen? Have You Learned Anything From This? Will You Ever Change?
By Amelia Schonbek
Can face-to-face meetings between a victim and an abuser—a form of restorative justice—help a society overwhelmed with bad behavior?

LATE ON A FALL afternoon ten years ago, Cheryl and Troy walked into a room and shook hands. It was a small space at the Justice Center in Portland, Oregon, almost entirely taken up by a conference table and chairs. Beads of rain covered the room’s one long window. Cheryl sat next to it so she could lookout, which helped remind her to breathe. She had barely eaten that day, just enough so she wouldn’t be sick to her stomach.

Cheryl and Troy were strangers, though, in one sense, they knew each other well. For years, Cheryl had been in a string of violent relationships, and Troy had a long history of getting drunk and abusing his partners. In 2005, he went to prison for 22 months for choking his girlfriend. Cheryl and Troy met that afternoon because both of them wanted desperately to change, yet nothing had freed them from the destructive patterns they were in. By this time, Cheryl, who was then in her 60s, had tried therapy and found it isolating to sit opposite someone who hadn’t lived through violence. And Troy, then in his 40s, attended Alcoholics Anonymous, though he sometimes struggled to accept the pain he had caused others without making excuses. After years of trying to move on from their experiences, they both discovered restorative justice, a form of conflict resolution that brings together survivors and offenders with a focus on repairing the damage done, rather than punishing the person responsible. They each agreed to participate in a practice called a surrogate dialogue.

Esta historia es de la edición July 19 - August 1, 2021 de New York magazine.

Comience su prueba gratuita de Magzter GOLD de 7 días para acceder a miles de historias premium seleccionadas y a más de 9,000 revistas y periódicos.

Esta historia es de la edición July 19 - August 1, 2021 de New York magazine.

Comience su prueba gratuita de Magzter GOLD de 7 días para acceder a miles de historias premium seleccionadas y a más de 9,000 revistas y periódicos.

MÁS HISTORIAS DE NEW YORK MAGAZINEVer todo
Trapped in Time
New York magazine

Trapped in Time

A woman relives the same day in a stunning Danish novel.

time-read
6 minutos  |
Nov 18-Dec 1, 2024
Polyphonic City
New York magazine

Polyphonic City

A SOFT, SHIMMERING beauty permeates the images of Mumbai that open Payal Kapadia's All We Imagine As Light. For all the nighttime bustle on display-the heave of people, the constant activity and chaos-Kapadia shoots with a flair for the illusory.

time-read
3 minutos  |
Nov 18-Dec 1, 2024
Lear at the Fountain of Youth
New York magazine

Lear at the Fountain of Youth

Kenneth Branagh's production is nipped, tucked, and facile.

time-read
5 minutos  |
Nov 18-Dec 1, 2024
A Belfast Lad Goes Home
New York magazine

A Belfast Lad Goes Home

After playing some iconic Americans, Anthony Boyle is a beloved IRA commander in a riveting new series about the Troubles.

time-read
5 minutos  |
Nov 18-Dec 1, 2024
The Pluck of the Irish
New York magazine

The Pluck of the Irish

Artists from the Indiana-size island continue to dominate popular culture. Online, they've gained a rep as the \"good Europeans.\"

time-read
8 minutos  |
Nov 18-Dec 1, 2024
Houston's on Houston
New York magazine

Houston's on Houston

The Corner Store is like an upscale chain for downtown scene-chasers.

time-read
3 minutos  |
Nov 18-Dec 1, 2024
A Brownstone That's Pink Inside
New York magazine

A Brownstone That's Pink Inside

Artist Vivian Reiss's Murray Hill house of whimsy.

time-read
3 minutos  |
Nov 18-Dec 1, 2024
These Jeans Made Me Gay
New York magazine

These Jeans Made Me Gay

The Citizens of Humanity Horseshoe pants complete my queer style.

time-read
2 minutos  |
Nov 18-Dec 1, 2024
Manic, STONED, Throttle, No Brakes
New York magazine

Manic, STONED, Throttle, No Brakes

Less than six months after her Gagosian sölu show, the artist JAMIAN JULIANO-VILLAND lost her gallery and all her money and was preparing for an exhibition with two the biggest living American artists.

time-read
10+ minutos  |
Nov 18-Dec 1, 2024
WHO EVER THOUGHT THAT BRIGHT PINK MEAT THAT LASTS FOR WEEKS WAS A GOOD IDEA?
New York magazine

WHO EVER THOUGHT THAT BRIGHT PINK MEAT THAT LASTS FOR WEEKS WAS A GOOD IDEA?

Deli Meat Is Rotten

time-read
10+ minutos  |
Nov 18-Dec 1, 2024