My Baby Is the Rainbow After the Storm

Three losses, 10 years of waiting. One mum’s heartbreaking fertility struggle now has a happy ending.

- Eveline Gan

Four years ago, Felicia Tan watched her babies die in her arms. Her heart shattered as they took their last breaths shortly after birth.

In a span of 11 months, she had lost three babies after suffering late miscarriages* during the second trimester of her pregnancies. Born too early at 23 and 21 weeks respectively, Dominic and twins Elvis and Louis did not survive their extremely premature births. She struggled to come to terms with her losses.

Today, the graphic designer is full of renewed hope and joy.

After an emotional decade, she is now mum to a healthy boy – Titus Low – whom she fondly calls her “rainbow baby” in her third and latest book, A Gift From Heaven.

“Like a rainbow that comes after a storm, Titus has given me a new chance at motherhood. We’ve gone through a lot of hardship to have a baby, but the worst is over,” says Felicia, whose other books, To Baby with Love and Lost and Found, detail her traumatic miscarriages.

This June, Titus turned one, a happy milestone Felicia never thought she would ever celebrate during those dark days.

Even more amazing is the fact that Titus was conceived naturally – after an agonizing, 10-year struggle with infertility. Before, she conceived through in-vitro fertilisation (IVF).

SEARCHING FOR REASONS

After her second tragic miscarriage, she steered away from a near emotional breakdown by focusing on seeking answers to why she was unable to carry her babies to term.

“We didn’t want to rush into another round of IVF without finding out why I kept miscarrying. Moreover, I was so physically and emotionally drained after the second miscarriage,” she says.