5 Toxic Relationship Patterns To Avoid
Your Family|March 2020
Have unhealthy behaviours left you and your partner feeling as if you’re in a rut? Here’s how to break the pattern and reclaim your relationship
5 Toxic Relationship Patterns To Avoid

After a long time together, you and your partner develop your own ways of communicating. But sometimes you may develop bad habits along the way, which – left unattended – could negatively affect your bond. Relationship expert Paula Quinsee unpacks the five behaviours you need to stop.

1 Playing the blame game

WHY YOU FALL INTO THIS PATTERN:

Do you find it hard to admit you’re wrong and take responsibility for your actions? Do you invariably blame your partner for everything? Passing blame and never owning up to your own mistakes can become a habit and, in time, turn into a point-scoring exercise which alienates you and your partner from each other.

THE PITFALLS:

‘By blaming your partner for things that go wrong, you avoid being accountable for your own contribution to the situation. This can also negatively affect your children, who’ll internalize the emotional impact of the conflict at home. What’s more, that kind of environment doesn’t teach them essential life skills, like healthy conflict resolution,’ cautions Paula.

BREAK FREE OF IT:

It’s important to resolve conflict in a respectful way, where you both feel heard and are able to find a middle ground. ‘Learn the difference between active and passive listening, as well as how to see things from each other’s perspective,’ says Paula.

2 Bottling up your feelings

WHY YOU FALL INTO THIS PATTERN:

‘When we get into a negative space, we move into survival mode, where we’re constantly trying to protect or defend ourselves. In Imago Relationship Therapy, we identify two common types of people in conflict: “minimizers” and “maximizers”,’ explains Paula.

Esta historia es de la edición March 2020 de Your Family.

Comience su prueba gratuita de Magzter GOLD de 7 días para acceder a miles de historias premium seleccionadas y a más de 9,000 revistas y periódicos.

Esta historia es de la edición March 2020 de Your Family.

Comience su prueba gratuita de Magzter GOLD de 7 días para acceder a miles de historias premium seleccionadas y a más de 9,000 revistas y periódicos.

MÁS HISTORIAS DE YOUR FAMILYVer todo
Beat The Disease To Please
Your Family

Beat The Disease To Please

Is saying ‘yes’ is a habit that’s leaving your own needs constantly overlooked, as you put everyone else’s needs before yours? How can you break the cycle of people- pleasing and put yourself first?

time-read
5 minutos  |
June 2020
Quaran-Teens Help Them Manage Their Mental Health
Your Family

Quaran-Teens Help Them Manage Their Mental Health

Teens climbing the walls during covid-19? Restlessness isn’t the only thing to be concerned about, writes daniella renzon, community service clinical psychologist

time-read
5 minutos  |
June 2020
Know Your Headache Migraine, Tension Or Cluster?
Your Family

Know Your Headache Migraine, Tension Or Cluster?

It’s common for people to refer to any splitting headache as a migraine, but this might not always be the case

time-read
5 minutos  |
June 2020
Going Through A Friendship Crisis?
Your Family

Going Through A Friendship Crisis?

Is your waning social life affecting your marriage?

time-read
5 minutos  |
June 2020
Life Post-Lockdown
Your Family

Life Post-Lockdown

Pandemic panic, brain fog and ocd… as you get back to life un-usual, psychologist marise swart shares some advice on some common issues that may affect your mental health

time-read
5 minutos  |
June 2020
How To... Make Gluten-Free Flours
Your Family

How To... Make Gluten-Free Flours

Prepare these gluten-free flours to replace cake flour or self-raising flour in your favourite recipes!

time-read
2 minutos  |
June 2020
Cosmetic Treatments: Everything You Need To Know
Your Family

Cosmetic Treatments: Everything You Need To Know

Considering a cosmetic procedure, but aren’t sure what to expect? Cape town based general and aesthetic practitioner dr jan nel offers his valuable insights

time-read
7 minutos  |
June 2020
LOVING LOCAL
Your Family

LOVING LOCAL

LOCAL FASHION BRANDS ARE HELPING US BECOME MORE CONSCIOUS SHOPPERS IN THIS EVER-CHANGING WORLD, WITH THEIR BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED ECO-FRIENDLY WARDROBE PIECES

time-read
5 minutos  |
June 2020
Listen Up
Your Family

Listen Up

EVER NOTICE HOW YOUR CHILD’S BIONIC EARS PICK UP EVERY WORD OF YOUR PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS, YET COMPLETELY TUNE OUT WHEN YOU REALLY NEED THEM TO LISTEN? OUR EXPERTS OFFER SOME CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE ON HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF HEARD

time-read
4 minutos  |
June 2020
Blood couldn't make us any closer'
Your Family

Blood couldn't make us any closer'

THE TITLE OF ‘DAD’ DOESN’T ONLY BELONG TO SOMEONE YOU SHARE DNA WITH. THESE MEN HAVE FILLED THE FATHER FIGURE ROLE AND RAISED THEIR CHILDREN AS THEIR OWN

time-read
8 minutos  |
June 2020