‘You Have More Time than you THINK'

As he publishes his first novel, Graham Norton talks to Emma Justice about unrequited love, dating on Tinder, and why he’ll never be friends with Madonna...

Graham, 53, is the darling of comedy talk shows, delighting fans with his witty banter on The Graham Norton Show. He’s just released his first debut novel, Holding, a fast-paced mystery set in Ireland, but he’s already published three books, his memoirs The Life and Loves of a He Devil and So Me, plus Ask Graham. Graham, who lives in London, grew up in Ireland, where he still has a house and his mother Rhoda lives.

I’ve always wanted to write a novel, but it’s like saying you want to play the piano – if that’s the case, then by the age of 52 you really should be banging out a tune! I’m relieved to say I woke up on my 53rd birthday having finished this book.

I wrote it in three big chunks and it took about a year. I got a two-book deal when I wrote The Life and Loves of a He Devil, and it was the only reason I finished it. My publisher kept saying, “So Graham, about that novel...” I thought I’d write a cynical story set in London, so I’m surprised I wrote a sweet, sentimental tale set in Ireland. I’m not sure what genre it fits into – ‘cosy crime’, perhaps?

There’s lots of conflicting advice about how to write fiction. As a debut novelist,

I knew it was important to plot it out, so I made the crime element the scaffolding of my story. Then the characters just took on a life of their own. And, yes, I know it sounds pretentious when writers say that!

I didn’t get writer’s block, I got writer’s laziness. There were a few points, even as far as 30 000 words in, when I could have easily given up and just tossed the book aside. My advice to other first-time writers is KEEP GOING. Write something – anything – every day, or your halfwritten book will end up under the bed.