'You'll Find The One You Love'

Does Internet dating deliver the goods? Fleur Anderson, a single, mid-forties, Capetonian mom, went online to find her ideal 'click mate'...

I was sitting in Olympia Café in Kalk Bay, wondering whether ‘Mr Right’ was out there, when a bread truck drove past bearing the slogan: ‘You’ll find the one you love’. Thanks, I thought. It would mean taking action. Bread, men: you have to go out there, shopping list in hand, for the goods.

In the six years since my divorce, I’d had two relationships. Did I have the energy to meet someone again? To join an online-dating site, the most efficient way to find a match? It had worked for my mother, who met her long-term partner eight years ago on DatingBuzz, so perhaps it could work for me...

Setting my intentions

I signed up to DatingBuzz and OKCupid. Tinder didn’t appeal – more for hook-ups than long-term relationships it seemed, and I felt the ‘swipe left or right’ function was too unforgiving. After answering scores of questions from “Do you usually make your bed in the morning?” to “How close are you to your family?”, I uploaded recent photos of myself, one with my young son in the shot (which prompted one earnest man to ask me, “Are you a granny?” Oh, if I could’ve swiped left!).

My tag line was ‘Creative spirit seeks long-lasting flame’. Next, I wrote the narratives: ‘About Me’ and ‘My Ideal Partner’. One of the joys of online dating is the opportunity to specify, clearly, what you want. I wanted a soulmate, an equal; an emotionally mature man ready for a meaningful, committed relationship – and who was, ideally, accomplished, socially adept, kind, highly intelligent, light-hearted, fit and healthy, spiritually open-minded and, yes, attractive!