Ask The Sexpert - Intimacy

We’re going to get a bit deeper this month. As frivolous as sex can sometimes be, it still remains a very private and intimate act. So how can we make sex better?

- Komie Haghighi

PROBABLY NOT WHAT YOU THINK!

There are some very intrinsic differences in the way men and woman think and dare I say function. Generally, men are more direct. The best way to get from A to Z is always a straight line, whereas a woman may decide to stop off and peruse a few other letters along the way. If a man tells another man he’s hungry, this usually means “I need to eat right now. We need to get some food, like now!” The same phrase can be used by a woman and she might just be expressing the fact she’s hungry, yet that may not necessarily mean there’s any immediate urgency to start stuffing her face.

So how does this translate into the bedroom? Well, for starters, the way we think affects the way we behave and if you’re not in tune with the way your partner thinks, then you’re most certainly not in tune with the way she’ll want or need you to perform. Pretty standard reasoning!

Women want and need men to understand them on a multitude of levels. Emotionally, intellectually, physically, spiritually, etc. Men, for the most part, want a full stomach and balls emptying …and then the TV remote. I can just imagine all the fellas nodding with an agreeable grin whilst the gals are shaking their heads in despair.

But let us not tar everyone with the same brush. I consider myself to be a bit of a Sapiosexual on a multitude of levels and have encountered ladies who just wanted a thorough servicing before the school run or before the hubby gets home! “I want you to treat me like those dumbbells” I believe was the exact opening line. FYI, I was doing 70kg dumbbell rows with shit form... just saying.