SCENES FROM A DYSTOPIAN AMERICA COURTESY OF TRUMP

Coming soon to a city near you? As the coronavirus body count grows, armed but unidentified police are grabbing peaceful protesters off the streets of Portland

- BRIAN KAREM

Welcome to the latest edition of the dystopian state of America.

For reporters in the extended White House press pool, Tuesday’s workday began just before nine a.m. when a junior member of the White House press staff announced over the loudspeaker that coronavirus testing would take place in the lower press offices.

The necessary nose swipes, performed with a cotton swab shovel and prompting tears or giggles, were done by 9:30 a.m., by which time the oppressive D.C. heat felt like a sweatsuit worn by an obese marathon runner. After being tested (a privilege relatively few have), members of the press pool were sent to wait in air-conditioned comfort in the West Wing basement.

Tuesday was a unique day at the White House— both press secretary Kayleigh McEnany and President Trump held briefings—that came on the heels of another unique weekend in the Trump administration: Federal troops were used in an American city in a way that would’ve made civil rights leaders like John Lewis (who passed away this weekend) cringe. The administration’s goal on Tuesday was clear enough: Defend the dystopia and dismiss, or at least deflect, criticism of the president.

McEnany, still honing her skills as an enthusiastic propagandist, is getting used to working in the soft clay of about 14 stalwart, worn out and browbeaten reporters who would probably rather be anywhere than at a briefing listening to her bullshit.

The president, who for the first three years of his administration avoided the Brady Briefing Room as if it were the source of the coronavirus pandemic, had not been seen in a briefing since April, when he suggested we all inject disinfectant to battle the virus. But he was back with a vengeance Tuesday, after his latest debacle with jackbooted troops.