FIGHT NIGHT

The MORTAL KOMBAT film wants to be taken seriously, but all you’ll really care about is Scorpion vs Sub-Zero.

- Wes Fenlon

In the fiction of this new Mortal Kombat movie, I like to imagine there’s a whole crew of workers hired by thunder god Raiden to set up the lighting for the tournament arena. Floodlights with colored gel filters to set the mood. Torches for ambiance. Maybe a few spotlights to make sure everyone knows it’s fight night. It must’ve been as disappointing for them as it was for me when the fighters decided not to bother waiting for an arena, and just started killing each other in whatever dark alley, dark temple, or dark house they happened to be in at the time. The lighting union will not forget this betrayal!

Whether to help hide its CG effects or to set a dark and serious tone, the new Mortal Kombat seems to take place almost exclusively at night. It even begins in a deeply shaded forest in feudal Japan, telling the origin story of the warriors who will eventually become Scorpion and Sub-Zero. In this telling, Scorpion is a master ninja and kind father named Hanzo Hasashi; Sub-Zero is a Chinese killer named Bi-Han, who is, for reasons unexplained, obsessed with ending Hasashi’s bloodline. He thinks he succeeds by killing Hasashi and his wife and son, but a baby daughter lives, passing that bloodline down to a not-very-good MMA fighter named Cole Young. Hasashi, meanwhile, spends the next 400 years hanging out in hell, which ironically ends up making him so much cooler.

YOUNG BLOOD

Cole is our audience surrogate; the normal guy drawn into the battle to save Earthrealm from Outworld. Mortal Kombat needs someone to look confused when someone else— in this case a well-informed Sonya Blade—quickly explains what’s going on with other worlds, secret tournaments, chosen warriors, etc.

IT COULD’VE BEEN A LOT MORE FUN TO WATCH IF IT JUST EMBRACED THE ABSURDITY OF THE GAME SERIES